Off to the fair!

Sometimes I truly wonder if I was meant to be skinny.... I am the odd duck out where ever I look, the biggest in my family and the biggest out of all my friends.. I really does bother me... Why can't I be like everyone else?  I guess it would be boring if we were all the same.

When I was younger my parents would bug me about my weight... ALWAYS telling me I needed to lose it...so what did that make me do? eat more...what pre teenager ever listened to their parents....I remember eating things that were were clearly disgusting, but b/c it was what my parents didn't want me to do, I did it, just to be difficult.  I remember crying b/c they would bring my weight up all the time....Having two girls of my own, I sure hope I dont bug them about their weight if they are overweight.  I want to support them and love them unconditionally! (what parent wouldn't)  The worst thing my parents could have done was harass me about this.  do I blame them?? no... or do I?  I love them but it really did hurt me.  I took diet pills in jr. high and high school.  I was in my neighbors wedding and to lose weight I was on slimfast when I was around 14....DUMB!!!!!!!!!!!

I was atheletic...LOVED skating, baseball and swimming.  Now, I know I couldn't do any of those if I tried.  I want to be able to with my girls...If I can stay positive and work hard toward my goals I will be able to do ALL of those again.  Would love to swim across the lake and back again without doing the doggie paddle or someone throwing me a life jacket!!!!!!!!  Help my daughter learn to skate, not her teaching me how!!!!!!! Throw a ball so my arms dont hurt or run around ALL the bases not have someone else do it for me!!!!!!!

But most of all, the goal I am working towards right now is being able to take my daughters on fair rides and not watch my husband do it b/c I am too fat to fit on the rides.  It's embarrasing and hurtful!!!!!  So, here we go B and P, in July we r off to the FAIR!!!!!!!!

Mood: excited