Struggling

Well, I don't know where to start...I'm unsure why it is so difficult to lose weight this time around.  Could it be b/c I have what I want? my very own children?? After losing our adoptive daughter in 2007, I vowed that I would one day have my very own children and wouldn't have to rely on someone else giving me their child.  I got down to business,  lost 55lbs in 5 months and ended up getting pregnant after 12+yrs of trying to get pregnant due to an infertility problem called PCOS.  A short few months after having my first daughter Bridjette who was born in Jan. 2009, I was THRILLED to find out I was pregnant again!!!! Who knew it would've been this easy a second time around!!! In Oct. 2010 I gave birth to my second daughter Pepper....  I felt so blessed...in less than 2 yrs I had 2 beautiful pregnancies which resulted in 2 beautiful daughters.... BUT being pregnant had a downside ..the horrid weight gain.  Now, I am in a battle one more time to lose most the weight that I worked so hard to lose. 

I want to lose this weight not only for me but for my girls. I want to be around and watch them do so many things like go to their 1st day of school, get their license, guide them through their 1st heartbreak, graduate, get married, and have their own children...is that too much to ask? 

So, let March 19th 2011 be a new beginning....my short term goal?  make it through one day at a time... my midterm goal?  not be the fat mom who has to watch their daughter go on all the fair rides (in July) with their dad but actually be the one who goes on them with her... my long term goal?  stay healthy and alive long enough to watch my beautiful daughters grow into the most amazing people and be someone they can be proud of.