Happy Easter

Well, it's safe to say I am still struggling to the point where I have given up.  No worries...  I am going to try one more time starting Monday.  I should start today but seeing it's Easter I am going to wait.


I talked with DH yesterday and told him I pretty much didnt like myself...I know it's hard for him to hear it because he loves me so much and wouldn't change a thing....I just have no one else I can talk to when it comes to this topic.  Sure I can talk to the WW group but I honestly don't feel apart of them.  They are all "losers" and I am the gainer..(I'm usually not a follower anyway lol)  Besides they don't want to here negativity all the time.  But then again, does my husband want to hear it? I really need to stop talking outloud b/c I don't want my daughter to start talking about her weight OR others...


on an up note...I CAN do this, I just need to work past my brain... it's a pretty strong computer that I need to crack (no pun intended on Easter lol) 

It was so fun this morning watching my daughter look for Easter candy that the bunny left behind for her.  She kept saying "More?, More?"  it was so cute...Next yr I wonder how she will do sharing with Pepper.  LOL... could be interesting.... Later today we are going to go to my parents and do an egg hunt... should be fun.  The bunny hid them there b/c it's drying than our house..

Happy Easter my friends/followers...

Fìng Perfect

I think for me to be successful in my change of eating habits I need to love myself..I can say, I don't at this time.  If I did, then I don't think I would eat like I do.  I have changed some eating habits since starting WW... like, not eating after supper (which is usually over by 5:30) or drink juice...I mainly drink water and a glass of milk during the day.  I did buy a case of no caffine diet coke about 10 days ago...I have one at night when I sit down at my computer..almost done the case and then I`ll be back to water.  Juice has a high amount of hidden sugars in it and I dont want to use my points up on juice!  I can use my points up just fine without the juice.

I really do want Sun. to be the beginning of my new week.  I need to get out of this slump I am in because it`s killing me inside.  I feel like a horrible mom when my daughter wants to play catch with me and I have to sit on the couch because it`s more comfortable!! WTH!!!!!!! my legs are aching at the moment and are stiff because I have started to take my girls out walking...they partly hurt because of the girls lying on my nerves in my legs when I was pregnant with them....the stiffness will eventually go away, it took a yr with Bridjette, not so long with Pepper and I tell ya...I`ll be one happy chick when they don`t hurt.  Getting outside is also getting my mind working and let`s me think more clearly.  I get motivated when I am out, then when I get back inside, it`s a gloomy place, so I start to think gloomy.  I love my house, don`t get me wrong, but because I have no energy I am slacking in the ``clean up my house`` departmnent...When I do clean it, B comes right behind me messing it up again.. I feel like all I do is clean my house and you would never know it! The upside to it, is atleast Bridjette is having fun!!!!!

Well...until I write again... CHOW!

hey... u know that song by Pink.  Fìng Perfect!!! Even though the song is about skinny people...  I totally relate to it as an obese person....who thinks I am perfect I say to myself, well when I sit and truly think about it

 ....to me...

my girls think I am perfect, their minds are so pure and not poisoned by todays standards and see me for the person I truly am....an amazing mom who loves them more than life itself!! They need me as much as I need them... (I also need my husband, he is truly my rock when I am down, thanks!!) 

I`m not perfect to them but I must say I have a great group of friends!! Their support is overwhelming, even when I post that I fail on FB, they are right there telling me it`s ok and help pick me back up

mood... hopeful yet again!

Slacker

Wow... it's been awhile since I posted.  What can I say, not much has changed... Still failing at WW... I am however starting to feel better.  The weather is nicer and I can finally get my girls out.  Getting them out means getting out and walking for me!!  My husband is even coming out with us, even when he get's off from a long days work!!!  I have decided not to "follow" WW... good move or bad?? I'm unsure at this point.   All I know is what I am doing is not working for me so I need to change it up.  I will still track what I eat in a day and work on it the next day and see what I can do better.  I love the calculator and tracking book that Val sent me....wait a minute...am I not following WW then?  I guess what I am trying to say is if I eat something that is bad for me... I'm not going to beat myself up about it.  geez I sound really lost, don't I! 

I try to follow the WW group on FB but I just can't get into it.  I am so jelous of everyone losing weight and you think that would be enough for me to get motivated it but it's not. I feel like I am the only one failing at it...Am I? I did lose about 1.8lbs a couple of weeks ago but when I jumped back on the scale I had gained 6lbs back.  I just don't get it.  I think my scale is messed up...  Why is losing weight such a hard thing to do but gaining it is so darn easy.... I would love to have aneroxia or bulimia for about 2-3 months...but you know, I love food way too much to throw it up...

I am really sorry about my blog always being negative...I need to work on it :)

Plan on going out for a walk today and spend time with my beautiful girls... they really do keep me going and get me through the day!  My husband does a pretty darn good job himself too to keep my spirits up (trust me, that is NOT an easy job to do).. I am truly blessed with my family!  Thank you God!!!

mood today?  hopefull