Small but Huge Success

Well, I must say I have been VERY proud of myself the past 2 days... I have had points left over, such a small but huge success....Sure I havent eaten as healthy as I could (again) but it will come.  I am definitenly watching what I eat now.  I have this feeling though one of these days I am going to have a slip and binge on junkfood utnil it makes me sick....I really hope that doesn't happen!! (remember: its mind over matter)

Today I had a checkup at the dentist...(NO CAVITIES, YAY ME!!!!) and as I was sitting in the waiting room chair I looked over to my upper right and could see myself in the mirror...I was pretty ashamed the way I looked... I quickly pulled down my shirt (which was long anyway) as far as it would go and looked sheepishly around to see if anyone else noticed the "fat" girl sitting in the chair.  Come on, they have to notice, right??....I wondered what the adults thought...and then the kids, what did they think...or did they notice...the one kid never, he was too busy playing with his gameboy to even notice anything around him.  I'm a pretty outgoing person but at times, I just can't be bubbly when I see myself the way I am.  They were late calling me in, so for about 20 mins I tried not too look in that damn mirror..but me being somewhat, obsessive compulsive, would look out of the corner of my eye and see that lonely figure in the mirror calling for help.  It made the voice in me want to say, I'm right here, it will be ok, we just need to stay positive and work through this rough merry-go-ride together.  I truly hope people see me for what is on the inside and not what I look like on the outside...I know my girls and my husband love me for who I am, but is that enough?? when will I love myself the way they love me and not judge myself from the way I look on the outside?

I think tomorrow is going to be an ok day...I am looking forward to making meals and seeing how many points I can save for the day...I have already been eating healthier for a few days now and I dont seem to mind it at all, just a lot of getting used to.  Pretty soon it wont bother me watching my family eat "junk" food around me... the cravings will be gone!!! and if they are not, then I will fight through one craving at a time...

The weather better smarten up soon...I am anxious to take my girls out in the stroller.  B has so much energy and I want to help her burn it off, I feel horrible we r stuck indoors all day.  Also, if the weather smartens up, I can get DH out with us... He promised me he would go for walks with us.  I sure hope he keeps his promise, I know B would love to have him around with us, I would appreciate it myself... It's always nice to have someone to exercise with!!

Bring on tomorrow world... I am ready to battle the day (with a nap of course with my beautiful girls hehehe)  I hope one day I dont need a nap, but right now I just dont have enough energy to get me through the day..I plan on changing that A.S.A.P.!!

mood tonight: optimistic!!!!!